For the past couple/few years, Mr. Farklepants and I have attended a holiday wine tasting party hosted by friends.  Wine tasting is a cute mature way to describe mid-life grown ups getting together to get drunk while all the kids hang out in the family room playing video games (calm down, CPS, we always have a designated driver). And since Mr. Farklepants isn’t really one for wine, I’m the glassy-eyed, slurry one by the end of the evening (who’s shocked?!). Unless he’s drinking gin and tonics and spilling the contents of his glass while he gestures wildly, then I abstain.

The wine tasting is blind, meaning, the bottles are wrapped in tinfoil to mask their contents (you probably are already aware of this, but just in case) and everyone is given a score chart to rate them and add comments. For instance, a (5) indicates how fantastic it is and a (1) means it tastes like ass, which, I may have written once or twice. Mr. Farklepants and I have always come in last place with the wine we brought which includes a bottle of Opus One that I thought completely tasted like…dirt mixed with more dirt and maybe compost heap. One other year we picked up a bottle of…I dunno, the name escapes me at the moment but no matter…from Cost Plus World Market that assaulted one’s taste buds and olfactory with the distinct flavor and scent of wicker. True story. It was horrible. It was as if the bottle of wine had been shipped in with a set of rattan patio furniture. I think some of the guests may have even skipped the tasting part because they couldn’t get past the smell.

Past experience has taught me that I tend to be drawn to the moderately priced wines in the fifteen to thirty dollar range. So this holiday season we brought a 2009 bottle of Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve, Pinot Noir to said party. And guess who’s bottle was the favorite? I should say that Mr. Farklepants and I are not big drinkers. We never drink at home unless we have company and neither of us knows a thing about wine. Our friends are big into wine. Many of them are members of wineries and spend weekends away at local-ish California wineries and while they often invite us to join them, all I can worry about is how are we all going to get home? I like to do my wine tasting either close to home or somewhere with a hotel room involved. I did take a little satisfaction in the fact that our little grocery store wine beat out all of the special ordered bottles that accompanied it. Because I loved the wine so much I went back and bought two more bottles on my next shopping trip…which are still cradled, unopened, in the wine holder a month later. But perhaps you wine drinkers would be happy with this little tip!

~Tootsie xoxo~

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